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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

I GET IT!

As I was looking back over my journal entries this month, I saw that I had felt inadequate in some areas of caring for my son.  I repented and said to God, "Can we start OVER AGAIN?" This was on Oct. 3rd.  The nurses that come in each week were making me feel overwhelmed by all they expected me to do!

Now looking in hind-sight, I believe God answered my prayer immediately and got the ball rolling, since that I had FINALLY relinquished my control over the matter, as I was not getting anywhere my way!  Not that He brings sickness; but He brings us through it and we become better and whole; of which both my son and I are in the process of wholeness!

With the fact that my son has been a quadriplegic since 1994, when he fell backwards off porch 2 ft. due to a seizure and hurt his spine.  With all these years of not being able to have much movement, his bowels have suffered immensely! We have spent years of treating constipation. Now this was all coming to a head, by my son appearing to be sick, however, not knowing how very sick he was!

Now after 3 weeks of being here in the hospital, I can talk about it. We actually have no way of knowing how long he has had a bowel obstruction.  But God just let everything fall into place , with different tests being given, and put an amazing team of doctors together for his best interest!  On Oct. 21st he had surgery, a colonoscopy and it turned out even better than they had hoped for. 

Now (this week) we are just waiting to be discharged, as he is eating now and keeping it down.  SO, we are starting a new chapter in our lives.  Can't you just see a HEALTHIER  diet in the plan for both of us?  But that's another blog post!

I simply never pass tests with flying colors like I see so many do!  I tend to worry, waver in my faith and be absolutely reluctant to change!  I just thank God for His Great Mercy towards me!  "It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness."  Lam. 3:22-23

I have such a large community of friends and family that I have made contact with especially on FB.  My personal chatgroup of Flybabies,  my morning accountability group, Hello Mornings  my Hide His Word group.  The list really goes on and on! Then there are the personal ones that contribute into my life with their posts; it might be a verse, a quote, a picture, a blog. But it all speaks volumes to me and daily nurtures my very soul!  SECRETS OUT!  I SPEND A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET!  Lol!

Why I started to list groups was because of the overwhelming response of prayers and wellwishes for us from so many who I so lovingly look up to!  My own church, Tabernacle Of PraiseCOGIC, whose prayers have literally sustained me!  Oh how they KNOW ME!  What a mess I am when it comes to my son!

I started this post on the 23rd of October.  We spent  3 weeks, 4 days in hospital.  We left on the 29th. He had made such progress after surgery and has continued to do so since we have been home this past week,  GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!  We are both sleep deprived, but it is so great to be home in our "NEW NORMAL!"

I titled this post "I GET IT!" because God has been speaking to me loud and clear all through this experience, showing me myself for real!  It seems to me like He FINALLY was able to get my full attention!  I can say like Job said,  "I have heard of Thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth Thee."  Job 42:5   But now I do really get it!  God just wants our all; heart, soul, mind and body.  He wants to be my 1st priority! It's just not as hard as I have been making it!

My son got a new bowel construction.  I got a new heart surgery from the Master Surgeon!  I have a new lease on my life, added purpose and a fresh recommitment!  I simply intend to SHOW GOD how very greatful I am!